A LETTER TO MY ANGEL
Today, you turn ONE! I can't hardly believe it. My Mommy heart is doing flip flops in my chest. I am already so proud of the little Miss Madam you are becoming.
I remember the day I found out we were expecting you like it was yesterday. For a few weeks, I could feel something was odd. Not wanting to raise Daddy's hopes, in case there was nothing to it, I ask Mama Zinzi (younger sister) to accompany me to the Doctor, whichever could accommodate me ASAP. We waited for over an hour at the Doctor's rooms, drinking water as instructed, so I'm ready for the urine test to confirm whether or not you were already forming inside mommy's tummy.
Eventually, our turn came. Mama Zinzi was more anxious than I was, and Mama Nozuko (youngest sister), who couldn't join us, was eagerly awaiting the news, either way. The urine test came out positive, but dear Doctor wanted further confirmation and did a scan.
There you were...just a 4-week old black dot. I was ecstatic! I somehow knew at that moment that you were a girl and that I was going to name you Similo "a good girl". Mama Zinzi was in tears, tears of joy, for all you were to represent in our lives. Did I mention that it was a Friday and Sunday was to be Father's Day? Guess what Daddy got for a Father's Day present? A photo frame with a scan of you, our Similo, our black dot.
The next nine months were full of everything: tears of joy, pain, pleasure, and hurt. That nine months, I went through everything I want every expectant mother to witness and everything I could never wish for my worst enemy. During that period, I was tested medically, physically, psychologically, mentally and spiritually. In fact, during my journey with you, I knew God all over again and how much He loved me. All this made me realise that iSimilo was something you "didn't" really possessed, as I felt you were turning my already imperfect life upside down, so I started calling you Cebolenkosi (God's plan), for it was only through God's plan that we were to both going to survive our journey.
We spent seven out of the nine months at Professor Chrysostomou's rooms, an obstetrician and gynaecologist at Linksfield Hospital specialising in high-risk pregnancy management, so we can finally meet you in person. I thank God for your father's prayers, love and support and that of the whole family throughout this journey. Without them, I don't know where I would have found the strength to carry on. Bed rest, specialised high care and prayer became the order of the day. I was no longer a strange face in the E.R. They all knew me by then, and I knew the drill all too well by then.
One day as the usual bleeding that's been threatening your life occurred, Daddy insisted I was rushed to the Emergency Rooms, again, that I said, "I am not going this time. God will have to decide whether He takes or keeps you inside me right here, in the comfort of my bed.
Not trusting my stubbornness, I went to the Doctor in the next few days. Miraculously, that day, after everything, he confirmed we were suddenly out of danger. The treatment had been successful. That was two months before your expected arrival date. Only then did I allowed myself to buy a vest or two. This meant that I could finally enrol for pregnancy yoga, pack my hospital bag and book a hospital bed in the same hospital—the same hospital where your brother was born. Nothing could have prepared me for the events leading to the few days leading to your arrival.
Danger and threat upon your life were not done with us just yet. Prayer had been the only thing we knew, so in Him we continued to call. Guess what? All the preparations Daddy and I had undergone were futile because God had other plans for your arrival. Giving birth to you by caesarean section was not part of the plan. The Doctor confirmed that I was no progressing because the umbilical cord was suddenly unexplainably short. As usual, Mama Zinzi was by Mommy and Daddy's side, Mama Nozuko was waiting anxiously, Gogo and Mkhulu had been praying the whole time, just like they have been doing since our episodes began.
Eventually, at 04H20 on Sunday, 08 February, your arrival was pronounced. One of the best days and moments of my life. They placed you in my arms, and I felt more love than I ever knew was possible. You were the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen. That day you became my daughter, and I became your mommy. A lot happened after that, but none of it mattered anymore because you were now lying on my chest. All was forgiven. Nothing mattered anymore but you. I had to learn to love you, for I couldn't before, at the fear of losing you.
Each morning, I look at you, and I can't believe how big you've grown. I can't believe how beautiful you are. I can't believe how blessed I am to be your Mommy. You are brilliant, funny, and curious. You explore each day and learn so many new things. Your face lights up when you see Daddy, and you give him your best and most beautiful smile, clearly reserved just for him and him alone. You hate taking naps because you probably think there might be something better going on while you are asleep. You like playing peek-a-boo and singing songs Gogo and Petronela have taught you. You clap your hands when you laugh and quietly crawl back to the womb sleeping position when you fall asleep at the foot of our bed.
You are one special girl, loved by so many, and I know that God loves you even more. He has great big plans for your little life, and I can't wait to see what adventures He has for our family next. We pray each day that you will be curious and bold and that you will seek after Him with all your heart.
Baby girl, we love you so much – you have changed our world, and our family is better because you are part of it.
Love you forever and more, Your Mom
Dr Chrysostomou is based at Netcare Linksfield Hospital. He is also a Professor that teaches at Charlotte Maxeke Academic Hospital. His details are: Tel: 011 647 3781 Email: drchrysostomou@lkdoctors.netcare.co.za Website: https://profchrysostomou.co.za